"O Lord, You have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me."
I am so grateful and inspired by songwriters. They have an amazing gift for taking ordinary words and putting them to music in such a way to move us not only to worship,but also to grasp Biblical truths in such a way as to change our ordinary lives and way of thinking.
Music speaks to me.....
Tonight at our church prayer meeting, we sang a song call I'll Stand. The chorus says,
With arms high and heart abandoned
Of the One who gave it all
My soul, Lord, to You surrendered
All I am, is Yours.
As we ended the song and went into a time of corporate worship, I stood there on the platform thanking God that I could enter His throne room and stand with my arms held high and my heart open to Him. In my mind, I went back to Sunday.....
Last Sunday morning, Pastor Tyler and his wife, Kizzie preached a sermon together on relationships...namely, the marriage relationship and how it is to be a picture of our relationship with God. Kizzie told of an evening when she was at church in worship and the Lord gave her a picture. I can't tell the story as well as she, but the gist of it was she had entered the throne room of heaven and Jesus was sitting at the right hand of the God. Kizzie was dirty - her clothes, her face, and she left a trail of dirt behind her. But Jesus came off the throne, approached her and kissed her on the forehead. As he did, she became clean. Her filthy rags were gone and she was dressed in a white robe.
Back to tonight....as I stood there in worship, remembering her story, thanking God that I could stand in His throne room with my heart bared before Him I realized that even if I didn't "abandon" my heart to Him, He still knew what was in it. The light of His love shines into our hearts and sees everything anyway. Suddenly...in my heart I saw many people standing with their arms crossed almost hugging themselves. I knew they were trying to hide their heart. There were things in their heart that they didn't want anyone to see.
I understand them. I've been there. I have stood in worship with my hands held high, but inside I was holding my heart back. I didn't want anyone to see what I was hiding or holding onto. Not even God. We may be able to come to church and put on our "spiritual face" and fool others into thinking all is well. But here's the thing....we can't hide from Him. He knows what we are holding back. When we walk into that throne room with our dirt and baggage, Jesus steps in and makes us clean. What I saw tonight were people coming in and trying to hide behind others, hide behind their own worship, covering their hearts so no one, including God the Father, could see their dirt. And in my heart I began to sing another song....
Blood of Jesus, shed for me
Precious blood, my covering be
The only view God has of me
Is through the blood of Jesus.
That blood has washed us clean. If you will give Him your whole heart, Jesus' blood has made it clean and you can fully abandon it to Him.
I believe I was supposed to speak out tonight, but indecision held me back. I should have listened to my own thoughts and "abandoned" my heart to Him. But fear and pride held me back. So, since I didn't speak out at church, I'm writing it down. I wasn't sure I could communicate verbally what was in my heart and mind. I'm not sure I have communicated it well even here.
The next time you approach the throne room, whether in a corporate setting or in the privacy of your own prayer closet, try abandoning your heart to Him. Don't hold anything back...surrender it all to Him. There is nothing you can hide from Him. His love illuminates everything; His blood covers everything.
So take the opportunity to give it all .....
.....to the One who gave it all.